Oh my lovely children who I love so dear,
Are becoming little fuckers I am starting to fear,
What the stay at home mothers who make every darn thing,
Will think of me now because I am so ming,
Always covered in stains and hairs out of place,
I wish I had time to do up my face.
The relentless, endless, competitive playdates,
Neurotic mum’s, who dictate their child’s mates,
It’s hard enough having a child,
And then depriving them of being too wild,
No TV, no sugar, no scooting too far,
Judgement day beckons as I do the pick up by car.
I’ve decided that I won’t try to compete with those tiger mum’s,
I’d rather be happy and have a big tum.
My house has become a chaotic mess,
As I run around trying to find a clean dress,
Between the piles of endless shit,
I must keep going to find one that fits,
Finally see one and check it for stains,
As I look across the room I see my son starting to strain.
No, no, no – not on the floor I need to leave to catch my train,
Now I’ll be late and stinky again,
I wish the little bastard would just use the loo,
To save me from having to pick up his poo,
I heard dysentery is making a come back,
Probably due to all us mothers dealing with crap.
Welcome to motherhood, it’s far from fun,
But just remember you’re not the only one.
hahahaha YESSSSSSS Loved.This.So.Much!!!
Thanks for the feedback!! X
I love the honesty of this blog. So real and true.
Thanks!!! X
I dont have any kids but my friends do….LMAO!
Thanks lovely! I’ve been a bit absent ….but I’m back!
Me too.